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How many Conservative economists does it take to change a lightbulb? ...
12.12.2009 2:33:29 +0000
How many Conservative economists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. The invisible hand does it.

Unix *is* user friendly. ...
12.12.2009 2:28:29 +0000
Unix *is* user friendly. It is not ignorant-friendly and idiot-friendly.

What's the difference between love, true love and showing off? ...
12.12.2009 2:23:29 +0000
What's the difference between love, true love and showing off?

Spitting, swallowing and gargling.

How does a blonde kill a fish? ...
12.12.2009 2:18:29 +0000
How does a blonde kill a fish?

She drowns it ...

Why did the Princess cross the road? ...
12.12.2009 2:13:29 +0000
Why did the Princess cross the road?

Because she wasn't wearing a seat belt.

A young man was hired by a supermarket and reported for his first day of work. ...
12.12.2009 2:8:29 +0000
A young man was hired by a supermarket and reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, then gave him a broom and said,

"Son, your first job will be to sweep out the store."

"But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realise that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom -- I'll show you how."

"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." ...
12.12.2009 2:3:29 +0000
"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper."

"What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!"

"I know all that."

"Then why did you invite a friend for supper?"

"Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."

Once upon a time, ...
12.12.2009 1:58:29 +0000
Once upon a time, there was an officer of the Royal Navy named Captain Bravado who showed no fear when facing his enemies. One day, while sailing the Seven Seas, his lookout spotted a pirate ship approaching, and the crew became frantic. Captain Bravado bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!"

The first mate quickly retrieved the captain's red shirt, and while wearing the brightly colored frock, the Captain led his crew into battle and defeated the mighty pirates. That evening, all the men sat around on deck recounting the triumph of earlier. One of them asked the Captain, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before battle?"

The Captain replied, "If I were to be wounded in the attack, the shirt would not show my blood. Thus, you men would continue to fight, unafraid." All of the men sat and marveled at the courage of such a manly man's man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout spotted not one, not two, but TEN pirate ships approaching. The crew stared in worshipful silence at the Captain and waited for his usual orders.

Captain Bravado gazed with steely eyes upon the vast armada arrayed against his ship, and without fear, turned and calmly shouted, "Get me my brown pants."

What pillar doesn't need holding up? ...
12.12.2009 1:53:29 +0000
What pillar doesn't need holding up?

A caterpillar!

What not to say to the nice policeman: ...
12.12.2009 1:48:29 +0000
What not to say to the nice policeman:

Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector was unplugged.