Caution: DO not take these seriously, I am just a silly goose and a thief, I stole alot from Jim Norton
About me - The Survey (Good luck finding serious answers) Name: Jeff Moore Birthday: everyday Birthplace: dropped unceremoniously onto a bath mat during a coughing fit Current Location: 100 feet from a liquor store Eye Color: bloody-stool brown Hair Color: s**t brown with a touch of grey Height: tall enough to get on the rides at Six Flags Right Handed or Left Handed: tug with my right, bag tickle with my left Your Heritage: my Irish great-grandmother was teabagged by a Indian, which by default makes me an alcoholic The Shoes You Wore Today: patten leather with a buckle Your Weakness: an invalid laying sideways with her mouth open Your Fears: that I will be overheard making the Yummy noise glancing at an older gentleman in a rest area men's room Your Perfect Pizza: oven crusted with lightly seared placenta Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: To limit masturbation to twice a day Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger: "Are those mentos in your pocket are you happy to see me? Thoughts First Waking Up: "Who is this strapping Negro?" Your Best Physical Feature: my taint Your Most Missed Memory: being face down in a pillow with whiskey being breathed into my face from the side by my uncle Pepsi or Coke: bong water MacDonalds or Burger King: MEAT IS MURDER! Single or Group Dates: I prefer single dates and group scat parties Chocolate or Vanilla: ice cream is for queers Cappuccino or Coffee: ice lattes, because they help get the logs moving Do you Smoke: only when babysitting Do you Swear: yes, I frequently tell people to "buzz off" and "go fly a kite" Do you Sing: I tend to hum Lionel Ritchie songs while I'm being raped Do you Shower Daily: I prefer to have dogs lick the sweat off my balls and neck Do you get Motion Sickness: only when riding fat girls Do you think you are Attractive: yes, when compared with burn victims Are you a Health Freak: Of course I take my valtrex daily Do you get along with your Parents: I did until I killed them for insurance money Do you play an Instrument: I play spoons and the rape whistle In the past month have you been on : cialis In the past month have you gone on a Date: do prostitutes count? In the past month have you gone to a Mall: yes, to buy my grandmother an athletic supporter In the past month have you eaten Sushi: no, but I store it in my wifes underpants In the past month have you been on Stage: yes. In Mexico, with a donkey In the past month have you been Dumped: yes, on my chest Ever been called a Tease: a cancer patient once called me that while I dangled morphine over his face Ever Shoplifted: I smuggled a gerbil out of the store without using my hands What do you want to be when you Grow Up: Gynecologist In a Boy/Girl.. Favourite Eye Color: black and blue Favourite Hair Color: golf course green Short or Long Hair: chemo whispy Height: under 4 feet Weight: 75 pounds and willing to vomit Best Clothing Style: torn off Number of I have taken: what in Sam Hill does this question mean? Number of CDs I own: 3, all Huey Lewis Number of Piercings: both nipples,but accidentally Number of Tattoos: either a tear drop on the face or cartoon characters on her crotch
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